thoughts and things

by Kristina Sloggett

in Basil is a Young Sportsman

I am recovering from a relaxing weekend. I gave myself permission to do nothing. Though I cancelled more plans than I kept (sorry Sarah, sorry Alix – I look forward to our rescheduled events this weekend!), I did not miss a dear friend’s baby shower.

Part of the baby shower fun was creating custom onesies with fabric pens. Such a fun idea, I want to throw a baby shower so I can do this again! Here is mine:

The train wraps around the back. Drawing is much more fun with a bunch of girls and some mango mimosas!

I also had a couple of valuable conversations with some people who have been through what I am going through with my Dad. Mutual venting with a very strong friend going through her fathers brain cancer and all the complications that come along with it. Several incredible information filled conversations with a friend who is so generously sharing her first hand knowledge of caring for a parent.

Last but certainly not least, more fantastic and detailed help from a friend whose Pop has just beat cancer, and he was the main caregiver for him. Not only that, it was the same cancer my Dad is currently battling. I was quickly typing notes into my phone as he gave me great info on things to do and use as my Dad progresses with his treatment. He also said it is incredibly difficult, but he can make it through (he knows my Dad). We held hands and cheersed a beer to Dad’s health. I am so happy his Pop is cancer free.

I just paused here for more than ten minutes, taking in the feelings, so incredibly grateful for all the amazing people in my life. I am blessed.

In the relaxing of the weekend, I also took time to give myself a manicure.

The grey polish goes well with the houndstooth, yes?

Also, I wore green. Did not drink green beer. Did visit a Tiki Bar.

Ate this sandwich, made with this salad.

and made this amazing fudge. Then covered it in peanut butter.

Now I begin my regular week. Four more days ’til Saturday. Make it a great one!


{ 58 comments… read them below or add one }

1 lindsay March 20, 2012 at 5:11 am

good! you deserve all that time to relax and feel comfort. This makes me happy for you. love you.


2 spabettie March 20, 2012 at 7:23 am

thank you Linds! love you too! XO


3 Heather (Where's the Beach) March 20, 2012 at 5:22 am

I definitely think it’s important to take time for yourself – especially if you are acting as a caregiver right now. And a strong support group is crucial. So glad you have friends who understand. Sounds like it was just the weekend you needed.


4 spabettie March 20, 2012 at 7:23 am

it WAS just what I needed. a lot of downtime to relax and just be. sleeping in (heh, I was still up early…), watching movies, just “recuperating” :)


5 katie March 20, 2012 at 5:49 am

How nice that your friend could give you some comforting words and tell you some things, and so awesome his pop is cancer free! I know your dad will get through this and fight it too! Praying for him!

Love that nail color, so pretty! Never heard of that brand before.

I kissed my computer screen on the first pic you posted in this post, hehe! Love Basil!


6 spabettie March 20, 2012 at 7:21 am

aww… Basil sends kisses back XO wag wag… thank you, Katie, for your constant support and prayers. you know YOU are valuable to me, right?


7 Jess March 20, 2012 at 6:16 am

Such a beautiful story, I love the blessings friends can bring into our lives, it’s something to cherish, huh? So glad you had a restful and “you” centric weekend.


8 spabettie March 20, 2012 at 7:20 am

thank you, Jess! I am cherishing all my friends these days!


9 jobo March 20, 2012 at 6:21 am

Oh I am so glad the support and advice and experience of others is comforting for you with what your father is going through. It’s interesting – this weekend when I visited my grandparents with M (who is a nurse practitioner), he talked with my grandfather about his heart problems he has been having (mind you – he is a very private man and to hear him open up to M about it really warmed my heart!) and it was so good to hear the advice first-hand and get some comfort in knowing that his health is actually pretty good, considering he is in his late 80s! So I can relate, in a small way, to that feeling of comfort and hope. I am so glad you took some time for yourself too, much needed and deserved. Mmm fudge…


10 spabettie March 20, 2012 at 7:18 am

aww, that is so awesome! must be the way M is… makes people feel comfortable and at ease, if your grandfather talked openly about things he usually does not! (that warms MY heart!!)

the knowledge from friends who have been there has been extremely valuable. the love and continued support from all friends is just as valuable!


11 Evan Thomas March 20, 2012 at 6:42 am

I could definitely use that fudge covered in peanut butter right now. Nevermind that it’s not even 10am yet :-)


12 spabettie March 20, 2012 at 7:15 am

it’s okay, Evan. I give you permission 😉


13 Averie @ Averie Cooks March 20, 2012 at 7:12 am

permission to do nothing is wonderful. Glad you did it and glad you were able to just enjoy the weekend!

That fudge….oh my. Thanks for the reminder on that one!


14 spabettie March 20, 2012 at 7:15 am

thanks, Averie – it was definitely needed, and definitely nice.


15 Cara March 20, 2012 at 7:48 am

I cannot help but think how wonderful it is that you are surrounded by people who understand what you are going through and can be there for you to vent, share moments with, and even cry to. There is going to be someone in your life going through your exact position and is going to be listening to YOU next; writing down notes on his/her phone with all your tips you gave in regards to what helped your dad heal completely from his cancer. Having amazing friends around means only one thing: you, yourself, are an amazing friend :) xoxo!


16 spabettie March 20, 2012 at 8:20 am

oh, sweetie, that gave me chills. I do hope it is so, me helping someone else after my Dad is healthy and through this all. sending you THE BIGGEST virtual hug, dear friend XO


17 Lisa B March 20, 2012 at 7:49 am

ahhhh, sounds like just the weekend you needed!

Love the onesie idea….I’ve done that a couple times, and always stick with a duck theme—I think I’ll copy you and do trains next time :-)

Hope you feel refreshed and relaxed as much as you can be!


18 spabettie March 20, 2012 at 8:19 am

such a fun idea, right? I really want to throw a baby shower now… 😉 and thank you – I am going into this week more relaxed (although my EYE JUST TWITCHED as I typed that – GAAH!) 😉 have a great week, Lisa B! Basil sends love and wag wag wags…


19 assistantdoc March 20, 2012 at 8:12 am

So glad you got to take a moment for yourself. I love you Kris. Looking forward to hugging you for realz.


20 spabettie March 20, 2012 at 8:17 am

me toooooo – see you Friday my dear! XO


21 Sarena (The Non-Dairy Queen) March 20, 2012 at 8:14 am

I am so glad you took some time to relax and enjoy some down time! I love the onsie and the nail polish color is super cute! Enjoy the rest of your week my friend!


22 spabettie March 20, 2012 at 8:17 am

thank you, Sarena. you’re the best.


23 Heather @ girlyeverafter March 20, 2012 at 8:35 am

Love the onesie idea! It’s always great to have friends to vent to and rely on in bad times as well. You deserve some R&R!


24 Krista March 20, 2012 at 9:27 am

Sounds like a great weekend! Prayers for your father…I must have missed that update. xo friend.


25 Amy @Health Hungry March 20, 2012 at 10:23 am

You are moving through all of this with such beautiful grace… Holding you and yours in good thoughts. And I have to say again – your photos are sooooo fabulous!


26 spabettie March 22, 2012 at 10:58 am

thank you, Amy – that means a lot… I am really trying to stay as calm and cool as possible, at least when I am with my dad (screamy freakouts can happen in my car, alone…)

and thanks about the photos – I always love hearing that, as I am overly critical, you know?


27 spabettiemom March 20, 2012 at 11:34 am

Hey sweetie, so glad you finally took the needed time for yourself….what a blessing to have had so many helpful conversations with your friends to help get through this time in your and your Dad’s life. I am keeping all the positive thoughts and prayers for your Dad.
Love the picture of Basil….one sweet pup he is…..Great idea with the onesie!You did a great job; hope everyone signed them so mom and new baby can remember all her wonderful friends..Sending lots of love your way from Mom and “the boys”


28 spabettie March 22, 2012 at 10:55 am



29 Rhonda (@diningalone) March 20, 2012 at 11:57 am

I am sending a lot of strength and courage to both you and your Dad. Cancer is a terrible thing and it has impacted my family in many ways, it is so nice to have others to lean on and talk with. Having a sweet adorable dog always helps too :)


30 spabettie March 22, 2012 at 10:54 am

oh, Rhonda, you know it… there are times I grab Basil and we just sit on the couch together. calms me down, makes me feel at peace. I would bring him everywhere with me if I could. :)


31 Dawn (HealthySDLiving) March 20, 2012 at 2:04 pm

That’s wonderful that your friend was able to give you some useful words of wisdom and advice. It’s hard to go through something like this but it helps when you have supportive friends and family. :)


32 spabettie March 22, 2012 at 10:52 am

I know, Dawn, they just both keep getting in touch with things they forgot – oh, and this. and THIS. it is SO nice for me. sure makes it easier, I don’t feel so alone in this.


33 Tommy March 20, 2012 at 2:14 pm

we love you Kris. I agree, you have such grace


34 spabettie March 22, 2012 at 10:48 am

aw, thanks Tommy. <3

also, I couldn't resist:

even just a little grace?

Jackie Onassis had grace...


35 March 20, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Aw, so happy to see a pic of Basil! Such a handsome devil. :)

I’m so glad you took time to relax and take care of yourself this weekend. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been to go through all you have. I’m happy you were able to connect with people who know what you are going through – that always helps me.

And mango mimosas also always help me… 😉


36 spabettie March 22, 2012 at 10:40 am

well Molly, I will tell him you said so! 😉

ALL of it has helped me, the well wishes and hugs and prayers, all of it. the people who have actually gone through this and are giving me solid actual real STUFF from their experience and knowledge? amazing and priceless.

and yep – I could definitely use another mango mimosa – that was GOOD. 😉


37 Lauren @ Oatmeal after Spinning March 20, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Sending you a big, warm hug!!! xoxo


38 spabettie March 22, 2012 at 10:37 am

thank you, darlin. I feel it, I really do! XO


39 Pure2raw Twins March 20, 2012 at 5:58 pm

your relaxing weekend sounds perfect! so glad you got to enjoy some time for yourself! you deserve it!
still thinking of you and your father! sending you lots of hugs!!!!!!


40 spabettie March 22, 2012 at 10:33 am

thank you SO much for your continued thoughts and support (and hugs!), they mean so much. XO


41 dorry March 20, 2012 at 7:35 pm

loved reading this post. I could hear your voice in every word which was wonderful! so glad to hear you’ve had great conversations with people who understand exactly what you’re dealing with taking care of your dad. sounds like you had a really great weekend and you deserve that! I need to try that chocolate orange coromega, and I love that nail polish. it’s perfect. xoxo


42 spabettie March 22, 2012 at 10:32 am

thanks, Dor. I have some friends that say things like “I have NO idea what to say, cannot imagine…” and all that. Those are incredibly important to me too… everyone is. But the people who have been there, through some of the exact things I am now, their experience and knowledge is a whole other thing, and so incredibly valuable. I am super thankful to everyone.


43 Eden March 20, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Haha, I “did nothing” in my last post 😉

Vent ANYTIME lady.


44 spabettie March 22, 2012 at 10:28 am

atta girl. (( hugs ))


45 Lou March 20, 2012 at 9:20 pm

I’m glad you took some time out…. sounds like you are going to need all your strength and positive energy to help your Dad – it also sounds like you have the right people around supporting YOU which is so so important. :)


46 spabettie March 22, 2012 at 10:28 am

thanks, Lou… you are absolutely right – right now we are in a ‘holding pattern’ of sorts, waiting to see how the treatment changes, and with some of the new knowledge I have, I will need all the strength and positive attitude to get us all through it intact! We will. :)


47 Allie March 21, 2012 at 12:16 pm

So glad you have some supportive and understanding friends! That (and tasty fudge treats) makes all the difference!

Hope you’re house-hunting’s on the up and up too!


48 spabettie March 22, 2012 at 10:24 am

eeee! I emailed you 😉


49 Sarah @ The Smart Kitchen March 21, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I just wanted to say you make me happy.

So does fudge.

The end. :)


50 spabettie March 22, 2012 at 10:24 am

AW! you are so sweet. I still want to come play in a kitchen with you sometime… THAT would make me happy!


51 Lora @cakeduchess March 21, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Hello sweet friend-you deserve this relaxing weekend. The onesie is too cute and Basil is so handsome. Your dad is lucky to have a caring and awesome daughter like you. Praying for your pops and a speedy recovery.xo


52 spabettie March 22, 2012 at 10:23 am

YOU are the sweet friend – your sweet words always make me smile.

I feel lucky to have time with my Dad right now… and I am lucky to have such a fighter! He is so positive and has a great attitude and sense of humor through all this. Makes all the difference, for sure.

SORRY you weren’t able to go to fbf – hope you are feeling better XO


53 Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) March 21, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Here to help whenever you need <3

And that onesie you did was adorable but the whole concept makes me shudder. The reason? I once made a onesie as a gift for the mom at a shower out of fabric stamps- super cute- I was proud. I get to the shower and they had that same activity that you had- so she ended up with 30+ adorable onesies and of course what was my one and only gift to her? a hand made onesie (shudder!)



54 spabettie March 22, 2012 at 10:19 am

oh NO! :( yeah, I can understand how that would um… put a damper on your gift. boo. yours was probably still better though.

and thank you again!! your most recent email had MORE fantastic info that I honestly had NO idea. I haven’t had time to respond but I will. I am so very appreciative of you. XO


55 Kath (My Funny Little Life) March 23, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Aww, the train shirt is so cute! 😀 😀


56 spabettie March 26, 2012 at 8:11 am

thanks, Kath – I had fun making it… can’t wait to see the little guy in it! 😀


57 Michele March 26, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Hi! I have never commented before, but I read that you and your family have begun the “dance with cancer,” and I wanted to say hello. My mom was diagnosed with cancer about a year and half ago, my junior year of college, and we have been dancing since then. (We’re still in the hospital now, but it looks like we are might be able to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel!)
I don’t know what kind of cancer or dad has or where he is in his treatment, but I do know that until only a month or so ago, I had not been able to talk to anyone who had gone through something similar, and when I finally did, it was just an overwhelming feeling of comfort and camaraderie. It sounds like you definitely have people to talk to, even ones who have been through the same thing, but if you ever want to talk to someone else, I just wanted to extend an offer.
I hope your dad’s feeling great and doing great, and I know with all that support he has, he’s going to show cancer it messed with the wrong person!!


58 Michele March 26, 2012 at 11:51 pm

your dad* sorry!


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